When she walked in, the instant connection I felt was undeniable. It was like I was sharing an energy field with this girl...like maybe our mothers gave birth to us at the same time at the same hospital thirty some years ago and we have been long lost friend-twins ever since. When she walked in I got this feeling like it was my honor to be in this person’s presence.
We had both been hired to lead a Mother’s retreat. She and her mother were the speakers and I was leading music. We had been e-mailing and planning for weeks, and although I thought she seemed kind and someone I would enjoy from her e-mails, you can only learn so much about someone from a computer screen. But looking someone in the eye and feeling someone’s presence when they walk in the room is a completely different ballgame.
The old me would have put up a wall and fled at the fear of being the one totally geeked about making a new friend (especially fearful of her not feeling the same vibe). Then I thought to myself, “Self! You are 30-somethin’ years old and it’s about time you stop worrying what other people might think!”
So I acted like a giddy little girl back in grade school having just found her best friend. I tried to sit by her at lunch whenever I could. And dinner too. I studied her words when she spoke because I wanted to know what she really cared about. I admired her crazy gorgeous hair, and her calming sense of style. And I felt super special when she reciprocated the interest.
And here’s what I realized: do we ever outgrow our excitement over finding a friend who just might “get us?” Or the newness of friendship? How about our NEED for friendship, especially as moms? If there was ever a time to need other women and to have life-giving friendships, it is now. When we are fighting for balance between mother and wife and worker and friend and daughter. When we are exhausted, overjoyed, terrified, unsure--more now than we ever have been before.
Just because you are an adult, you have kids, you are super tired, you forget to brush your teeth sometimes (hey it happens!) doesn’t mean that you don’t have the need, energy, and ability to make a new friend. And who knows--they might just be the friend you’ve been waiting for since you were born.